You don't want to be Todd Martens

Writes some stuff for the LAT. Seeks board game partners. Cubs fan. Beer geek. Adores Chicago. In favor of dilly-dallying. Some personal stories may be exaggerated. I exaggerate. This isn't work.

toddmartens AT gmail dot com.

@toddmartens
you should have kept it for 2 and just made it seem like you had an imaginary friend. not only would you have a better table, the looks on people’s faces would be priceless. i’m assuming that this was for blue bayou?

Opportunity lost. Another option was a Sorcerer Mickey plush. But Carthay Circle. Have only eaten in the bar downstairs thus far, and Blue Bayou has disappointed me before.  

“So, ummm, can you decrease the dinner reservation from 2 to 1 … because when I made the reservation I had a girlfriend, but now I don’t, but I still want to eat there, so….”

Embarrassing call I just made.

To Disneyland.

My readers! Kate Charnas seems to know me pretty well.

My readers! Kate Charnas seems to know me pretty well.

“I want to go to the bank, and if I wait longer than I’m supposed to, or someone cuts in front of me, I want to be able to say, ‘Hey, that’s not right. Go to the back of the line.’ Right now, I can’t do that.” — Teri Suaréz, Butcherette
Photo: Brian van der Brug / Los Angeles Times

“I want to go to the bank, and if I wait longer than I’m supposed to, or someone cuts in front of me, I want to be able to say, ‘Hey, that’s not right. Go to the back of the line.’ Right now, I can’t do that.” — Teri Suaréz, Butcherette

Photo: Brian van der Brug / Los Angeles Times

Pfeiffer Martens | May 19, 2000 - March 21, 2012
Another lifetime has passed without a Cubs World Series. 
In all seriousness, I don’t know how to be without her. When it comes to socializing, I most often prefer not to, and Pfeiffer was in many ways all I had out here in L.A.

Pfeiffer Martens | May 19, 2000 - March 21, 2012

Another lifetime has passed without a Cubs World Series.

In all seriousness, I don’t know how to be without her. When it comes to socializing, I most often prefer not to, and Pfeiffer was in many ways all I had out here in L.A.


Wild Belle. One of the better bands I saw in Austin. 

I still need to cover this tattoo. Thanks to Jim Testa for pointing me in the direction of this comic. 

I still need to cover this tattoo. Thanks to Jim Testa for pointing me in the direction of this comic. 

F-you, Sony. 

I wanna see! Read the first book at the animal hospital this weekend. Loved it.